What is ‘Walkaway Wife Syndrome’?
‘Walkaway wife syndrome’ is a term that is sometimes used to describe the experience of women in marriages who file for divorce because they feel emotionally and physically disconnected and invisible within their relationship. Indeed, the high prevalence of this phenomenon is the reason why it has been given the name ‘walkaway wife syndrome’. In this article, we will explain what is meant by walkaway wife syndrome, why it occurs, the warning signs, and how marriages can be rescued in this situation.
What is meant by ‘walkaway wife syndrome’?
Walkaway wife syndrome occurs when a wife feels increasingly hopeless about their marriage slowly over time, and they make the decision to seek a divorce, often as a complete shock to their husband. Such ‘slow burn’ divorces can indeed blindside the other spouse who simply did not see divorce coming. Over a long period of time, conflicts and points of contention often go unresolved, building up ever greater levels of resentment and disconnectedness until the eventual decision to separate.
What causes ‘walkaway wife syndrome’?
Walkaway wife syndrome has many possible underlying causes, including:
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Affairs and ‘unfaithfulness’
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One partner being overly critical of the other
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One partner does not notice the efforts, hard work and sacrifices
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Conflict of personality and temperament
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Each partner being focused on their own interests
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Financial stress, including high levels of debt, loss of employment
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Lack of communication
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Not spending time together
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Physical, emotional, or psychological domestic abuse.
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Poor mental health, depression, and anxiety
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Resentment and disagreements over roles within the household
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The ‘four horsemen’ – criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling
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Substance abuse and
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Underlying challenges such as illness, financial problems, or child disability or other challenges
This list is by no means exhaustive, and there are many other possible reasons that may cause a wife to leave their partner suddenly after a long period of marriage or civil partnership. Sometimes, these can be entirely outside the control of the married couple, including environmental, social, societal, political and technological factors, which can have a corrosive effect on even the healthiest of marriages.
What are the warning signs of ‘walkaway wife syndrome’?
There are typically few clear warning signs that walkaway wife syndrome is about to occur, which is why it tends to happen without warning. Any signs may only be realised in retrospect. By noticing these signs before it is too late, it may be possible to successfully resolve them and reestablish a happy and healthy relationship.
Some of the warning signs to look out for to avoid walkaway wife syndrome include:
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Communication breakdown within the marriage
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Emotional detachment – This may be characterised by a noticeable emotional withdrawal or distance, which can point to serious concerns.
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Disrespectful behaviour – One partner treating the other with disrespect, whether subtle or overt, can undermine trust and connection.
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Lack of sex and intimacy – Sometimes, a reduction in physical affection and closeness can signal emotional or relational disconnection.
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Failing to resolve conflicts - Ongoing difficulties in resolving conflicts can create ongoing tension and lead to resentment and anger.
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A disinterest in the future – Any unwillingness to discuss or plan for the future may indicate a lack of investment in the relationship.
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Sudden focus on personal appearance – An increased emphasis on outward appearance may indicate deeper dissatisfaction or personal issues, and
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Spending excess time alone – A preference for solitude, rather than sharing time together, may also indicate an increase in emotional withdrawal.
The reality is that within relationships, it is all too easy to be caught up in daily life, and these warning signs go completely unnoticed. The natural order of life is that responsibilities only tend to increase over time, especially when it comes to children, often causing individuals to focus on their own interests rather than those of the relationship. As a result, emotional and physical closeness often starts to reduce.
According to Psychology Today, women often notice that this is happening and will “step up to the plate to rekindle the early connection, asking for more time together and more meaningful conversations. But many of their husbands ignore the plea for more closeness”.
Unfortunately, because husbands often ignore these pleas, this causes more disconnection and disharmony within the relationship, making matters worse if this is not heeded; over time, the likelihood of reaching a breaking point increases.
Final words
Walkaway wife syndrome occurs when the love and connectedness that one spouse has towards their partner fades slowly over time. In our incredibly hectic and digital world, it is all too easy to miss what is in front of us: a partner who has started to give up on their marriage and is looking for the exit door.
If you’re wondering how to fix walkaway wife syndrome, open communication and quality time together are key steps. Taking time out to reconnect with your partner can make them feel valued and reinvested in the marriage. Marriage counselling can also provide an excellent opportunity to resolve any disputes and issues which, if left unresolved, could lead to walkaway wife (or husband) syndrome.
Therefore, understanding how to deal with walkaway wife syndrome can help couples proactively address it, reconnect and stop it before the marriage reaches a breaking point.
Guillaumes LLP Solicitors is a full-service law firm based in Weybridge, Surrey. Our highly experienced family law team can assist you with all relationship matters. To make an appointment, please contact us or call us on 01932 840 111.